In my attempt to reprioritise my life I am trying to be a calm and more relaxed mother to my children.
One of the ways I am doing this is by reading The Tao of Motherhood. It was recommended by my physiciarist so it must be the bomb, right?
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The Tao Te Ching, the classic work of ancient Chinese wisdom, has inspired and guided millions of people over more than a hundred generations. Twenty years ago, Vimala McClure, a mother and teacher of meditation and yoga, was inspired to meditate with each of the concise, profound teachings of the Tao Te Ching and capture its spirit and wisdom in words specifically directed to an audience close to her heart — mothers.
The result, a new classic based on an old one, has encouraged and uplifted mothers for nearly a generation. Even the busiest of mothers can dip into this gentle, comforting book and find wonderful inspiration and guidance.
I have only just started reading it, however, so far this has been my favourite section:
A wise mother does not unnecessarily interfere with her child's life.
Your children have their own process - their own thoughts, feelings, and reactions - which must be allowed to unfold.
If your childhood was painful, you may get overinvolved with your children's lives and smother them. Or you may find yourself forcing them to think and feel the way you to, to adopt all your values and live the life you wish you had.
If you do not trust your children's process, your children will not trust anyone or anything. Your confidence in them builds their confidence in themselves.
Assist your children in such a way that they think, "We did it ourselves!"
As a person who suffered from lack of confidence and low self-esteem growing up, I have definitely been guilty of trying to force Little Miss 4 into things she probably wasn't keen to do, like dance lessons, in an effort to teach her to be confident and have high self-esteem from a young age. These are the things I need to work on so when I read this it rang true with me.
Parenting is extremely hard. It will be the hardest thing that I ever do and I just hope that I do a good job. Hopefully also this book will help me a little bit too.